In My Defense, I Didn't Expect THAT To Happen (my bad)


Pack your bags, cuz we're traveling ALL the way back to last week for this story. 

(Oh, I'm sorry...does it not feel like we're living in dog years in 2018??)

It was a semi-rainy day. The kind where you need your umbrella if you're going anywhere that isn't the gym and you need to show up looking like you at least try to make personal hygiene a habit. 

That said, umbrellas don't protect you from humidity. (maybe Elon Musk can tackle this issue next...

I had some time to kill before the meeting started and decided to walk around Columbus circle and enjoy the semi-rainy day under my not-very-effective leopard print umbrella. Though now that I think about it...the umbrella conveniently blocked my view of the T----p Tower that's in the not a total loss.

As I stood in the center of Columbus circle, rooting for the water jets that seemingly pushed back against the rain in the spirit of #resistance, my mind wondered between thoughtless moments of bliss and paranoid moments of "How the hell did you get this meeting again?? Are you even prepared?? What do you EXPECT to happen?"

Truth be told. Not much.

That's kind of a habit of mine: not expecting much. 

From life. From opportunities. From other people.

Even though, when I look back on my life, it's littered with moments that prove why I SHOULD expect good things to happen...that kind of expectation is easier said than done for me (read: most humans).

I was about to head into a meeting with the owner of one of New York City's top comedy clubs to pitch my concept of "Motivational Comedy".

"Yea. Like THAT's gonna work in a NYC comedy club." my Ego whispered between the rain drops. 

Right. Whatever. I'm just gonna go in and see what happens...

"Except...I KNOW this can work, damn it! People are craving a new kind of entertainment!!" my Self Worth fought back against my Ego's dirty ways...

When I look back at those "littered moments of serendipity" in my life, there is one voice that's ALWAYS present. OK, two.

1. EGO

"Which one will win today?" 

It felt like the rain was my EGO. Constant. Expansive. Soaking EVERY inch of me the ground that it could reach.

And then there were those water jets of #resistance. Pushing UP toward the light. Go against the grain. Putting on it's own kind of show, never caring that there was an audience of ONE (soon to be none) probably due to the rain...

SELF WORTH. Ever present. Consistent. Unwavering. Focused. Not concerned with who might be watching...or agreeing with it's path.

BE the water jets. OK. I was as ready as I was ever gonna be.

It was time.

I shuffled my way into the lobby of the building 10 minutes before the meeting was set to begin. I wanted to have time to head to the bathroom and salvage what I could of my appearance. Plus, NYC buildings can take some time getting into when you have to present your ID, wait for the elevator, etc...

The elevator reached my floor. I checked in with the woman at the front desk who immediately pointed me toward the bathroom "in case you'd like to 'check in' with yourself before your meeting"....her exact words. I thanked her and headed off to the bathroom.

EGO - 1

Stay focused. Stay OPEN. Zero expectations. At best I was hoping to walk out of this meeting with an invitation to do 5-minutes at an open mic night.

After "checking in" with myself, I walked back into the open work space / cafe area where I was told he would come find me when he was ready. 

I wasn't there longer than 30 seconds when he and his summer intern were standing in front of me...and BOOM...the meeting was underway.

"So, tell me more about this concept of Motivational Comedy."

"Who is the demographic?"

"Why now?"

"Is it for women only?"

"Can you give me an example of one of your jokes?" want me to deliver a laugh-worthy joke right NOW? HERE?!!! 

EGO - having a field day

I scanned my brain for a punchline that I could deliver quickly and effectively. 

Found it. 

As I started to tell the joke, I could see him looking around the room, barely listening while mumbling "uh huh...yea". The summer intern halfway looking up from her phone. 

STAY FOCUSED (self worth was pulling ahead...) I landed the punchline and BOOM...

He AND his intern LOL'd!!! Like FOR REAL. Laughed. Out. Loud.

It was almost as if his laughter surprised him, too.
Apparently he arrived to this meeting with similar expectations...

And there I was, once again, blowing through EVERYONE's expectations and rendering the room speechless. 

I thrive when I'm underestimated. 

That's how it's been for as long as I can remember, and when I allow myself to TRUST my SELF never fails.

Within a few minutes of that LOL moment I was being offered my OWN 90 MINUTE SHOW AT THE CLUB!!!! 

Not only that, but I was asked to put together a list of "dream comics" who I'd want to OPEN FOR ME!!!


EGO - **flabbergasted**
SELF WORTH - DAMN RIGHT!!!! Yes. Thank you. MORE please!!!!!

I left that meeting on cloud 9...or maybe it was 10. I was FLYING.

As I walked back to the subway, attempting to wrap my brain around what'd just happened, I couldn't help but feel the support of my SELF WORTH. The part of me that always knows what's possible...but doesn't NEED it to happen to feel validated.

That sense of SELF WORTH is present in EVERY opportunity that I've been willing to RECEIVE along the way.

There are many, many stories I can (and will) of how something wasn't "supposed" to happen that way...or that easily...or that quickly...and yet, it happened.

I'm still working on EXPECTING the bright side of life. I imagine this will be a part of my life long journey.

Maybe I should expect things to go my way. Then again...maybe releasing the outcome is part of my secret sauce.

All I know is: SELF WORTH is EVERYTHING to an artist. To an Entrepreneur. To a creative.

If fact, when I surveyed the creatives who are currently inside my 90-Day Online Membership: Straight Up, 100% of them said they would like to have more support with strengthening their SELF WORTH.

They spoke: I listened.

I will be running a 21-Days of Self Worth Workshop inside the STRAIGHT UP COMMUNITY starting SUNDAY June 10th!

You will receive daily emails with actionable, bite-sized exercises that you can do in UNDER 5 MINUTES a day!! By the end of this 21-days, your SELF WORTH game is gonna be so strong you'll be goin' after the kind of goals that used to be in your "5 year plan".

PSA: Please STOP making 5 years plans, btw. They're worthless...especially for creatives. K thanks.

If you're ready to make the second half of 2018 POWERFUL, ALIGNED and better have your self worth turned ALL THE WAY UP!!!

Click here to learn more about the STRAIGHT UP program + join before June 10th to be a part of the 21-days of self worth workshop!


~ J

p.s. My first show @ this comedy club is set for Thursday July 12th --- I'll be sure to keep you posted when tix are available!!

p.p.s. The STRAIGHT UP program gives you the tools to create success on YOUR terms...just like I do...every damn day. #selfworth #claimit

Jenn Lederer